Friends who have known me for a long time call me ART. It’s not a name; it’s an acronym. It stands for Anal Retentive Tracker. I track everything. When I was in grades 6-12, I used to type up my own lists of everything. If we would have had computers back then………………….
One of the things I track for my WordPress blog is the number of followers. I know what it is on a daily basis. I don’t go out of my way to get followers like some people do when they visit 100 people each day and follow them, knowing that they will reciprocate. Personally, I like to visit people multiple times, get to know them, understand them. That brings me to the purpose of this post.
I am openly gay. I have been since April 27, 1993, which I decided to make San Diego my home. I’m not going back in the closet, not in this lifetime or the next. I met my spouse, Jim Frimmer, on May 26, 1994, about a month after I quit looking for someone — lol. Love seems to work like that. Want love? Don’t go looking for it!
Jim and I moved in together in November 1995. When California offered Domestic Partnerships, we got domestic partnered (on July 30, 2004). Just doesn’t have the same ring as getting married, so when the California Supreme Court legalized marriage in 2008, we got married (on October 20, 2008).
Our 18+ years relationship/domestic partnership/marriage has lasted longer than Cher & Greg Allman, Todd Meister & Nicky Hilton, Jeremy Thomas & Drew Barrymore, Eddie Murray & Tracey Edmonds, Mario Lopez & Ali Landry, Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra, Britney Spears & Jason Alexander (55 hours!)…. Perhaps even yours!
We are content, happy, satisfied……………..
Every time I mention something about me being gay, I lose followers. It’s not hard to make that determination. For example, on June 14 at 10:10 p.m. Pacific Time I made this comment. Within 12 hours I had lost 13 followers. That’s why it’s important for GLBTQ people everywhere to come out of the closet and interact with the world in a true and honest fashion.
Now let’s see how many followers I lose after this post — lol.
You don’t have to unfollow me covertly, like by waiting a couple of days. I don’t go through my list of followers to see who has unfollowed me and then reciprocate by unfollowing them. I pretty much follow everyone who follows me, and I follow some who don’t follow me. I don’t follow people who use a poor choice of four-letter words, nor do I follow a couple of R-rated and X-rated blogs.
Alright! Have at it!
Best wishes to everyone — including conservative religious political extremist fanatics — for health, happiness, peace, and prosperity.
Looking for real estate services in San Diego County?
I can highly recommend
James Frimmer, Realtor
Century 21 Award, DRE #01458572
If you’re looking for a home inspector,
I recommend Russel Ray — that’s me!
Russel Ray Photos 
Good on you!
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Can I reaffirm my ‘follow’?
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Sure. Just send $100 to me at the following address…………….. lol
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Cheeky:)
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Keep on being who you are =) I’ve been married to my husband for 13 years this July. We have an amazing son and have helped raise 4 very individualistic foster kids. I can see how mentioning this actually results in an interesting quality control on the list of followers 🙂
Blessings
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Ahh, I have been referred to as anal retentive for my antics as well. Which I’ve never liked, because it makes me sound like I need a stool softener. I prefer conscientious, but I’ll settle for Type A. 🙂
I don’t track my follows and unfollows, however, so you’ve got me beat on that one. But to think someone would unfollow a blogger upon discovering he or she is gay is troubling, especially if the reader had enjoyed the blog up to that point. What, did the words and images suddenly become tainted?
Great post. Great blog. And thanks so much for stopping by mine. I appreciate it. 🙂
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People unfollow you because you are gay? What century do they live in? Unbelievable. Shame on them.
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Not only here but at the site where I was blogging from July 2007 to January 2012. Everytime I mentioned the word “gay” even if I wasn’t referring to myself, dozens of followers would leave. Over there, though, it was easier to keep track of unfollowers, and I did unfollow those who unfollowed me. Over here at WordPress the community is one hundred times larger so I don’t waste my time on unfollowing the unfollowers. However, if they cease to keep my interest in their own blogs, I won’t hesitate to unfollow them, whomever they are.
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As I said, unbelievable.
How do you see who unfollows you on WordPress?
And same here. I only unfollow when I give their blog the old college try, and it just (as my kids would say) isn’t workin’ for me.
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It requires a little effort in keeping track, and tracking is something I love to do. But instead of spending the time to track who follows and unfollows, I’d rather simply go find more people to interact with. There are more than seven billion people on Earth and I’d like to meet about 6.99 billion of them.
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Dear Russel Ray (or shall I call you ART 😉 ) way to go! Your brilliant writing and photography and You are why I take great delight in following your blog. We are Earthlings people! We are all kin. Get used to it. Ok now that I got that out, I want to share that I returned to watching Oprah when she did her ‘Behind The Scenes’ thing after the last season, and in an amazing episode regarding returning to an ‘uptight town’ (to put it mildly) she said, “You can’t tell people what to do in bed.” Loved her non-chalant yet SO TRUE conviction. You rock and I am a FAN! Hugs, Gina
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You have a great blog and that is all I need to follow you. You have been giving us a heads up for the last few weeks so nobody should be surprised. Keep up a good blog and stop keeping so many damn lists. Life is too short. Wally
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All the more reason to FOLLOW you…you’re proud of who you are, and so am I. 🙂
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Thank you, Carol.
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I agree with you in that when I stopped looking for love, I found it (many years ago).
As to being gay………does that mean you’re not going to follow my blog anymore (because I’m NOT gay…..LOL).
I’m also single, overweight, caucasian and eccentric. I love life and my DSLR.
I couldn’t care less what sexual persuasian you are.
I have no sexual persuasian at all these days. I guess I’m getting old. We are almost the same age so we have something in common, (apart from the fact that our DSLRs are an extension of our arms).
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While watching the U.S. Open coverage I’ve been looking at all my follwers and unfollowing anyone who is female, especially straight female. lol
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Doesn’t surprise me. Just irks me. I like your blog. I like your photos. I like you. (you can tell by the fact that I’m always clicking ont he ‘like’ button)
We can’t please all of the people all of the time. Shucks.
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My wise old grandmother taught me the 80/10/10 rule for people. It’s a subset of the 80/20 rule.
10% of the people will hate you just because that’s the kind of people they are.
10% of the people will love you just because that’s the kind of people they are.
80% of the people will hate you or love you based on your actions and words.
She was right.
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I am a Christian and for that I hope you don’t “unfollow” me. I may not support your life style, nor does the Bible, but I enjoy your photography and you seem like a nice person.
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Hmmm. Let’s see. Lifestyle. I get up in the morning, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, make the bed, feed the cat, go to work, go to lunch, back to work, shop for groceries, pay my bills, pay my taxes, volunteer at Red Cross and the Animal Shelter, donate to the animal shelter and arts organizations, go to the Zoo and SeaWorld, blog………………………
Now what was it you said about my lifestyle?
I have lots of Christian friends. If being a Christian keeps you out of trouble, I’m all for it. Unfortunately, throughout history, Christians don’t have a good track record.
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Point well taken…. I guess that I am just blessed to be a Christian with a very good track record. Take Care!
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And for that I applaud you. It’s too bad so many of the Christian leaders of today don’t have that track record.
Remember also that victors write history and tell us about the losers’ propaganda. It is still that way in today’s world, so in the days of old I suspect it was even worse.
Remember to read the Bible in the context of history because that’s how it was written and when it was written.
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The Bible has stood the test of time, therefore, for those that believe in Jesus Christ, it still applies to us today. There are prophecies that have been foretold in the Bible that has yet to be fulfilled. I would suggest that we agree to disagree (if necessary) and continue to be fellow bloggers enjoying each others’ posts. How about it?
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Absolutely!
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Bravo to you – this is an interesting experiment. Are you going to let us know how many unfollowers you get now, Art? I love it that you have posted this because even though you had mentioned Jim before, you didn’t do it so openly and so I think this post is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!!!
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Yes. Right now it’s a wash. I’ve gained six followers but for some reason the number of followers has remained the same. So I guess I lost six followers, too!
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Please continue to write about this – it is very interesting, very disturbing and very important!
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Hey, I was going along right happily there until you started wishing conservative religious political extremist fanatics health happiness peace and prosperity. Then, you lost me. 😉
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I wish everyone health, happiness, peace, and prosperity because if we all have it, then the world will be a peaceful place.
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I do too … with the exception of religious conservative extremist ideologues. 😉
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Oh, come on, George. If they are happy……. Wait! They can’t be happy unless they are trying to control other people. I think you’re on to something. lol
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🙂 🙂 That’s why liberals are always smiling…
We got the joke.
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Russel, thanks for having a look at my blog and following me. I don’t care if you’re gay, not gay, green, make out of straw, have eyes in the shape of stars or are the best cook in the state of California (please, say it isn’t so…) I’m right here following you. I like your style! 😀
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Hi Russel, perhaps some people ‘unfollow’ you because 1) it’s easy to find you with one click, so following is unnecessary, 2) you post on lots of subjects,so it’s better for us to choose which ones, 3) you get serious on other peoples sites and loose one of your best characteristics, humor, or 4) you make a thing of your sexual preference when it doesn’t matter to most of us, and is a personal rather than pubic affair anyway. Is that okay with you?
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No.
I only get serious on other people’s blogs if they have a serious blog post. Surely that is okay?
Your #4 is interesting because we gay people have to put up with heterosexual pictures of weddings, children, etc. They hang on the wall at homes, sit on the desks in offices, get published in the newspaper, etc. Why? If it doesn’t matter to “most of us,” and I’ll dissent with your statement there, then what’s the problem with us getting married? Straight people have made it a pretty public affair, I think. As soon as it really doesn’t matter to the great majority, then we’ll know that equality has arrived.
And just because 90% of the world is straight doesn’t mean that people should make presumptions. I get asked all the time what my “wife” does because I am married and do wear a wedding ring. The looks I get when I respond that my wife’s name is Jim and he is a Realtor with Century 21 award.
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Hi Art. It must be very hard on you facing a majority unable to cope with differences. Like the 80% of Americans unhappy with their situation. Don’t let it get you down; you’re happier than most of them. Being funny and an excellent photographer are qualities you should exploit, because everyone can appreciate them. Sometimes overlooking or ignoring your detractors is the best solution. Besides, if you’re happy, what do you care if the others are different. You’re following your heart, and that is what matters.
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I agree, but when one has millions of religious political extremist fanatics telling me that I should be put on an island and left to die, exterminated, etc., eventually it can have an effect, even on adults. Such crap is why so many young gay people commit suicide, and I took off in 1993 to commit suicide myself.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/22/north-carolina-anti-gay-pastor-gays-hanging_n_1537410.html
And that’s not the only one, just the most recent.
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You had a very provocative post awhile back about the different houses you’ve lived in, and then you shocked us by saying your father died in this one. I went from total disbelief, to doubt, to slowly accepting this as a highly developed form of protection,humor. Now if you can do that, you’re well adjusted and ready to face anyone, including biased unsympathetic human beings, a common species nowadays. Besides, even Zoe needs you.
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Hmmm. But my father DID die while we were living in that house. I’m not following you on the “highly developed form or protection, humor.” I certainly don’t think a dad committing suicide and leaving behind children age 8, 6, and 4 is humor. What am I missing?
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No, it wasn’t funny at all, but I thought you were trying to make light of a very serious subject. Some people protect themselves that way. I’m terribly sorry for you to hear the truth, and beg your forgiveness. You were so funny elsewhere, I just thought you were trying to do the same. How could we know?
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Only by having conversations like this.
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you are what you are being gay doesnt make you a bad person.. stupid people !
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So you’re saying that conservative religious political extremist fundamentalists are stupid? lol
I find it so ironic that they want small government but then they want the government to get into our personal lives and come into our bedrooms. Hmmm.
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yeah sort of .. if a choice of life can make a person happy without hurting the other what the hell is wrong with it?
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Sad to hear. Their loss then. 😀
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i am following you now. well…. at least for a couple of days! 🙂 🙂 🙂 kidding.
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I have set the countdown timer for 24 hours, beginning………………….now! lol
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Do you track how many people you gain as followers? Cause what I’ve seen here so far is an amazing artist, a talented writer and a pretty durn good person (who’s marriage lasted longer than mine did) who happens to be gay. So what? Who gives a damn? Are you happy? Sounds like. Then have at. People that leave your blog because you are gay are the same people that will not be friends with someone because of the color of their skin, or won’t interact with someone because of the religion they practice. It’s their loss and our gain. Because, now, you can spend more time with us amazing people who like you for who you are. Keep on posting. Keep on being you. That’s what makes your art so amazing. I’m loving your pictures, by the way. Good stuff!
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Thanks for your kind words!
I do track the number of followers but not who they actually are. I have a little table and graph in Excel which allows me to keep up with Excel’s graphing abilities each time a new version is released.
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I hesitated to like this post, because I don’t like the part about how people Un-Follow you when you talk about who you are. It upsets me to no end, and I don’t like it at all! If they like your blog and they like you one moment before that, how can they suddenly not like it when you give them one more small piece of information? It’s like they’re holding a checklist too, but it has little boxes of love and hate. Ridiculous to tick a box and drop a friend. And yet, I have seen it many times in many ways. Rest assured, unless you flip out and become mean-spirited though and through….which is already impossible for me to imagine in the time I’ve become aquainted with you…I will continue to follow you with great pleasure and anticipation of another wonderful Russel Ray Day.
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Thank you for your kind words, dear lady. Now I shall abscond with “Another Wonderful Russel Ray Day” and make it my new blog, or the title of my new band, or something. I can’t just leave something as cool as “Another Wonderful Russel Ray Day” lying around doing nothing. lol
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lol…I love it!
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Did you see my new heard?
Thank you!
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I love your posts, I love your humour and your photos. I love that you ‘camp out’ in other people’s blogs though the humour of that one only just hit me!! 🙂
If small minded people want to unfollow because you are gay then it’s their loss. As a Humanist, I believe in the human, in human achievement and in human love.
I send you both love and respect from here in the UK. In case that is mis-read – I send both of you love and respect from Cornwall!
Happy Days! 🙂
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Good info. I am not sure if this is in fact the best place to ask but do you folks have any ideea where to get some professional writers? Thanks in advance 🙂
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What kind of “professional writers”? I do a lot of writing. Maybe I can help you.
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Consider yourself lucky to have gotten rid of narrow minded people who just take up your time. I am your follower forever unless Zoey stops following you. Wait! that’s precedes you! lol
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Everyone has a right to live their own way! Support you.
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There, I’ve finally read this post.
Nope, I don’t feel I should stop following. I’ll stick around, whether you follow me or not.
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